Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize