Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
