What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
We named our party play list daddy issues
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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