Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
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