Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
