There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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