Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize