Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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