How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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