yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Acid is not a monday night drug
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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