I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize