Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Boobs speak an international language.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
