Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
