Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
