Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
