Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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