Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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