I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
