I cockslap morals
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
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