i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize