I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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