Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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