God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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