Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
