my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
