Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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