Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
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