I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
You were trust falling into bushes
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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