mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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