dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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