OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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