Non-Jews are for practice
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
