yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
