I hate all girls vehemently.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
two words...techno handjob
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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