So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
