Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I just blew my weed a kiss
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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