I didn't shave. On purpose
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I have feelings that need drinking.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
