All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
