where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
