I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
