so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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