well you can't waste a boner
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
found the other keg... it's in the tree
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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