can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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