6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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