Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
