there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
