the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I didn't notice because vodka
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
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