is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
