Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize