I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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