lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
