She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
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why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
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I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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