I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
