Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
