Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize