i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
