that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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