suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize