I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Never joke about your clitoris.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
