A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize