The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
